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- NATION, Page 64A Sexual Etiquette Guide
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- By Letitia Baldrige and Judith Martin
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- For advice on how to deal with unwelcome attentions in
- the office, TIME consulted etiquette experts Letitia Baldrige
- and Judith Martin (Miss Manners). Their counsel:
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- Your supervisor asks you for a date despite the fact that
- you have already refused him once. How do you politely say no
- in a strong enough way that he won't ask you a third time?
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- BALDRIGE: It's not a time to be mealymouthed. You should
- say, "I enjoy working for this company, but I am not going to
- go out with you." You have to make it perfectly clear that you
- will not have any of that nonsense.
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- Your boss has referred to the women in the office as
- "skirts" or has addressed you as "honey." How do you get him to
- stop?
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- MARTIN: If it's a first offense, you can treat it lightly.
- He may be a well-meaning man who has always called women
- "honey" and needs to be educated. But if it continues, you
- should be firm and say, "I prefer to be addressed as Miss
- Smith."
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- What do you do when a colleague continually tells you of
- his sexual fantasies?
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- BALDRIGE: Say, "Look, you have a serious problem. As a
- friend, I would suggest that you get a therapist, because you
- need help." If he won't stop, you report him.
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- How do you keep your professional distance when your
- employer feels it is O.K. to constantly touch you, or leans in
- too close at your desk?
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- MARTIN: The thing to do is to scream and say, "Oh, I'm
- sorry, you startled me." Then move away. They don't do it a
- second time.
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